As I was waiting for a delayed flight back home the other day, the gate attendant announced “If you don’t know what I’m talking about don’t pay attention to this announcement…”

What? How can I not listen, until I listen, to know that I wasn’t suppose to listen? By the way, I had no idea what she was talking about so I wasted my time by listening.

The gate attendant was a sad case of “listen to what I mean, not what I say.” The “don’t pay attention…” comment was just nuts, but every so often she would announce, “Why don’t you all kindly relax.”  Nothing else, no information on the reason for the delay, how long we would be waiting, etc. Not surprisingly, those words actually made a lot of the people waiting upset. Why, did it make people upset, you may wonder?

In the above examples, “Don’t” is the pink elephant in the room of what not to say. Don’t think of that pink elephant. I mean it. Don’t think of that pink elephant with purple spots. I’m serious; don’t think about a pink elephant with purple spots and red toenails anymore…

So, how big is your pink elephant with purple spots and red toenails I said not to think about?

Don’t is an odd word. You have to listen to what you are not supposed to do, in order not to do it. Words put out a certain energy or message that create a reaction in the listener. The word “don’t” always points the listener somewhere else, but actually focuses attention on itself and away from what you are trying to explain. Consider the reaction you have to these 2 statements:

• Don’t communicate so that you can be misunderstood.

• Communicate so that you can be understood.

Positive statements inspire trust.  It is not as hard as it may sound, just choose the reverse of the set of words, e.g.; “Don’t run.” becomes “Please walk.” So, kindly sit back, relax and read on…

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,

To Success! To Life!
Sharon